fml finale

So the family reunion ended for me on Saturday night when I stormed away from the dining room telling my cousin, "You're right, you ARE sorry!!".

Of course I'll rewind to explain it all.

I spent most of Saturday running errands with my sister. We were supposed to be meeting the family at the park for the picnic/cookout. I asked my dad earlier that morning if it made sense to have the picnic at the park since they'd basically be packing up our entire house to go out there to bbq, then return home later to swim. He ensured me that it made sense to still go to the park, until at about noon, when he had an epiphany that going to the park was pointless, and the bbq should take place at 5350. After more eyerolling, shit talking, and errand running my sister happened to call my mom to ask what everyone was doing. She said they were about to take the family picture and that we needed to be there like yesterday. This alone baffled me because I kept thinking....dude....we called you. If we should have been there, why didn't you call us. lol. But whatever. I think I'm becoming immune to the disorganization and confusion, it's almost comical. lol.

All this leads me to explain why my night ended on a semi-sour note. I kept my dog, Basil, locked upstairs so he wouldn't bother/scare/annoy anyone. Someone decided to let him out and one of my cousins starts screaming

W.A.C. = Wack Ass Cousin: Your dog is evil!

Me: (thinking wtf?!) My dog is NOT evil.

This exchange went back and forth for about two minutes until I say,

Me: If the dog is so evil then, LEAVE.

W.A.C.: That dog bit my dad!

Me: No he didn't, my dog is never even met your dad.

[Sidebar: I guess I forgot to mention that my mom's dog, Rocko is a killer and def bit my uncle. But dogs only bite people if they deserve it right? Maybe not. Maybe Rocko just didn't like him. **shoulders shrugging**]

W.A.C.: Oh, so you're gonna tell me that's not Rosco?

Me: I don't know who Rosco is, but if you're referring to my mom's dog, ROCKO, then no, it's not Rocko. That's my dog, Basil.

W.A.C.: Oh, well my bad, I'm sorry.

Me: (walking away) You're right, you are sorry.

I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous that I would get so mad over a dog, but he's my dog. And I hate when people get beside themselves....and furthermore it gave me an excuse to snap out on someone [specifically him] since I was annoyed most of the weekend. lol.

Overall, the weekend actually wasn't that bad. It definitely predictable, but not bad at all. Even though some people were beyond extra, they kept me entertained the whole time.

Oh well....until next time. lol.

fml2.0

So this morning some family members came over to my parents' house and got to see my niece for the first time. And right on cue, someone asked, "since your sister has a baby, when are you going to join the club". I politely said I do have a baby, my dog, Basil.

Now, after a day full of ridiculousness, confusion, and shit talking about what we would have done without a rental car, I made it to the "family reunion banquet".

Surprisingly, my family rolled deep. But then again, one uncle came with his entire tribe in a 15 passenger van from North Carolina. His personal family alone was about a quarter of the participants.

Anyway. After meeting and greeting and discussing my sister's upcoming wedding, again, right on cue...my aunt tells me she's been on facebook (that statement alone deserved a blank stare). Anyway, she said she'd been looking at my facebook page and that It looks like I've been loving being a bachelorette. I responded by saying, "I'm not sure if I love it, but making the most of the situation".

So with that, all of my predictions came through and we aren't even 24 hours into the family reunion. Lol.

1. I'm "not" fat
2. I need to hurry up and have a baby
3. I need a man

Meanwhile, we're being entertained by one of the multinational/multiethnic children from the tribe playing his guitar, my uncle singing his own versions of both "happy birthday" and "redemption song", and my aunt screaming "that's daddy!!" (This reunion is a 90th birthday celebration for my grandfather), listening to my little brother being a newsie about everything (newsie = being EXTRA EXTRA) and watching my Daddy's facial expression after he drank some blue Alisay (This alone was priceless. He was uber grossed out).

This is even better. I volunteered Wayne Brady aka my singing uncle to sing a song for my sister's wedding. Now he's serenading her and asking what song she wanted him to sing. COMEDY! So now the ongoing battle of her sharing my blog address and me recommending wedding songs for him to sing. Lol.

Tomorrow should be interesting....

Family = FML

7.9.09 10:12pm
It took ten whole minutes for someone to tell me they're surprised I didn't get fatter....

Let me repeat that.

It took ten whole minutes for someone to tell me they're surprised I didn't get fatter.

I walked in my house and was greeted by hugs, "who is she"s, and comments about how surprised everyone is that I've kept my weight steady. Apparently my weight has grown so much that people must have thought it would multiply exponentially and I'd be walking around looking like Ruby by the age of 25. Already I feel that same sense of grind building that I had when I went hard in the gym last year.

Flashback: While in New Orleans one Friday, last March, my mom commented that I looked like I had diabetes because I was so fat. I didn't know you could look like you had diabetes. So following her ignorant comment, I responded to most of her questions by saying I couldn't help her due to my glaucoma due to my recent struggle with the alleged diabetes. By that Sunday, I was back in DC, signing my life away as a member of Washington Sports Club. A month later I was ten pounds lighter, and cured from "the sugar".

This is just a brief update. Going outside to speak and pretend not to be anti social.

pre-family "reunion" chronicles

I'm sitting at my desk listening to Mary's talk radio buzzing in the background (I think I forgot to mention that in addition to her other nuances, she simultaneously listens to two different Christian talk radio stations on her computer and radio.) and thinking about my upcoming week. I'm excited that I've taken three Fridays in July so my work week will be short. This past Friday I ran errands and this Friday I'll be traveling home. My family reunion is exactly four days away. I'm both excited and anxious at the same time. Its kind of weird. I'm more excited about getting away from DC and being home for more than 36 hours.

In terms of the reunion, I want to see my Godmother/aunt, my paternal grandfather and Maw Maw and Paw Paw, but outside of that....I could really do without seeing the rest of those people. See....I don't even refer to them as my cousins or aunts and uncles...they're just "those people" to me. I've already made personal notes that I'm sure they're going to make a point to make negative comments about my weight, when I'm going to get married, why I'm not dating anyone etc. With that, I've made it a point to pack only my flyest clothes, shoes, blah blah blah. I figure, let them talk... I may as well be fly while the spotlight is on me. LOL. But real talk, I'm secretly excited about going because I'm sure it will give me plenty of shit to talk about since most of my family is ridiculous.

Its strange. I was talking to one of my homegirls and she expressed the same indifferent sentiments about her own family reunion. So here are a few questions we came up with...
Are family reunions necessary? Like do people really care what's going on with their distant relatives? If I don't talk to you on a regular, I really don't care to see you. I know. It sounds shady, but I really don't care. When you get married and have kids, are you supposed to go to your in laws family reunions, yours, etc?