bye bye al bundy.

So I'm a punk.....I really couldn't cut it in retail.

After five weeks and a total of eight shifts, today is my last day at 5south. I've been juggling a total of three jobs. In addition to my full-time, I was working at 5S and at my new pt, Diva Fitness (more money, less work, better title - I'm a manager). Over the past couple of days I've been feeling like a member of that Jamaican family that used to be on In Living Color. Remember each family member had like 8 jobs?! The daddy alone was a firefighter, mailman, paramedic, teacher, bus driver, AND prison warden. lol..

Anyway, I knew things were going down hill for my career in retail when I saw a guy I knew from Undergrad shopping with his girl at 5south....before he could even give me the "damn, this is where she ended up" look. I blurted out, "this is my part time job". LOL. Its funny because I'm happy to have the additional income, I just don't want people to think this is my end all be all.

I think the person I'll miss most here is Blanche....but she's leaving too. She's going to work as the manager of the newly opened Rainbow.....[please feel free in insert a blank stare here]

tmi part two
I really wish I was making this story up, but I don't even think my imagination is vivid enough to come up with stories like this. Anyway, this dirty-curly haired middle eastern guy from one of the other mall stores walks in and says he's coming to say his goodbyes. He's leaving for Tel Aviv tomorrow. They hug and chat for a min. They were kinda flirty, but I didn't really think anything of it. Anyway, when he walks out, Blanche says, "That boy has the best sex ever". TOTAL WTF moment for me. But to entertain her, and slightly satisfy my own curiosity/nosiness, I asked for clarification as to whether or not they had sex in 5South. She tells me, "NO! We had sex at his house." followed by a pause....."And in the back of his store".

I just imagined Blanche's short, fat ass pressed up against a wall, grunting and sweating while getting it in with this tall, dirty haired Israeli mall worker.

BUWET (That's the throw-up sound). There is nothing else to say. I just walked away to straighten up shoes (and write this story down so I remember every word of it. lol)

laughable moments:
1. Blanche said she had been plotting to take me over to Rainbow with her. BLANK STARE. Sorry Charlie, that was NEVER an option. I thought 5S was too much. I'll be damned if I'm straightening up glitter jeans and baby tees all night.
2. The mall security guard said he'd miss me and wrote down his number on a scrap of paper. Right when I was about to throw it away, Blanch says, "Girl call him. He may be a good late night side piece." double blank stare. (maybe she hasn't checked the HIV rates in the district....or even checked those long dirty finger nails that the mall security guard is rocking. His nails look like they're carrying some type of virus. I can't even stomach the idea of shaking his hands....so sex....HELL NO)


**What's crazy is that even though I'm working 60 hours this week, I'm STILL making MORE money and working LESS hours than I did when I worked at some ABC Big 4 Accounting firm.

Sigh....farewell 5south.